The RumEating Floor Monster
by Coinkitink
Summary: Jack's drunk and Elizabeth is not surprised. Just a short oneshot to get me started, no real plot just pure...somethingness? Warning: Slightly Sparrabeth


_**A/N. Hello! This is my first fic on this site, my first POTC fanfic and my first fanfiction in a looong time. I'm currently working on another, longer, fanfiction. This was just something to get my 'juices flowing'...and I finally got a break from homework. I don't normally write one-shots like this, normally they're quite angst-t but I thought I'd give it a go. Enjoy!**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing except the story...I think that covers everything?_**

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_Yasmin closed her eyes, her long honey-coloured hair moving slightly in the cool breeze, the spray of the ocean against her face awakening all her senses. Strong male hands slowly moved down from her shoulder, coming to rest on her waist._

_"We can't do this anymore Pierre." She sighed, turning to face the man. "If anyone were to catch us…" Pierre silenced her by putting a long finger to her lips._

_"Hush," He said soothingly. "Do not fret about such th-"_

"YO HO! YO HO! A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME!"

Elizabeth was brought out of her reverie by the off-key singings of a certain Captain Jack Sparrow. Snapping her book shut she looked up, waiting for him to come bursting through the cabin door. And, punctual as ever, he did.

"Lizzie!" He cried, sashaying through the door, a half-empty bottle of rum swinging from one hand. "What're ye doin' in 'ere all by yerself?"

"I **was** reading." She replied reproachfully, glowering at the man. Jack, however, sat down next to her and grinned.

"Why'd ye wanna be doin' that? It's a party out there!" Jack gestured wildly towards the deck, sloshing rum on the floor.

"Not my kind of party." Elizabeth said coldly. She prepared herself to lecture Jack on how a well bred lady such as herself didn't see fit to partake in such unruly behaviour when she noticed he wasn't paying attention. In fact he was looking at the floor as if he was about to cry. "Jack?" Elizabeth said softly, touching his arm. "What's wrong?" Jack looked at her, his dark brown eyes sad.

"I spilt my rum." He said, pouting slightly.

"Is that it?" Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes irritably. "You **spilt** your **rum.**" Jack nodded sadly.

"It was mine." He said, staring at the spot where the rum had seeped into the floorboards. Elizabeth followed his gaze, for some reason smiling slightly.

"It's the floor's now." She told him, looking at him through her eyelashes for a reaction.

"What?" Jack asked, confused.

"The floor's taken your rum. You won't get it back."

"What?!" Jack bellowed, jumping to his feet and drawing his sword. "NO! It's **my** floor! On **my** ship!" Elizabeth nodded, smirking slightly.

"Yes…and its taken **your** rum." Jack glared at the floor angrily.

"I'll kill it!" He said, full of conviction. Then he staggered backwards, waving his arms wildly to steady himself. Elizabeth stood and took his arm.

"Careful." She warned, tightening her grip. "You should sit down."

"Aye." Jack agreed, an evil smirk flashing across his face. Then, in one quick movement, he threw himself onto the chair, pulling Elizabeth along with him so she would land on top of him. He then wrapped his arms around her waist, preventing her from getting away. "Yer right, luv."

"Jack Sparrow!" Elizabeth tried to put as much disgust and dignity into her voice while trying desperately hard not to smile at the drunk Captain.

"Aye?" Jack looked up at her innocently and Elizabeth suddenly had an overwhelming desire to lean down and ki…

_'No!'_ Elizabeth mentally scolded herself. _'Those are not the thoughts of a Governor's daughter!'_

"Let me go!" She said with as much conviction as she could muster, pushing against his chest.

_'His strong, hard…NO!'_

"No." Jack said, simply.

"Jack!"

"Has anyone ever told ye that ye moan too much?" Jack asked, conversationally.

"What?!" Elizabeth squeaked, not used to someone talking to her as boldly as Jack.

"Its unbecoming."

"Excuse me? I do **not** moan." Elizabeth paused, seeing the unbelieving look in Jack's eyes. "Without good reason." She added. Jack chuckled.

Jack and Elizabeth sat in a comfortable silence. Well, a comfortable silence for Jack. Elizabeth, however, was still having an argument with herself in her head.

"Jack?" Elizabeth asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes darlin'?" Jack replied, grinning cheekily.

"Let me go?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No." Elizabeth sighed dramatically.

A few more moments passed, Elizabeth becoming increasingly annoyed with Jack's…silence? She didn't really know what was annoying her but she knew it was to do with him.

"You have brown eyes!" Jack suddenly said loudly, as if he had made an amazing discovery.

"Yes." Elizabeth replied wearily. "I know Jack."

"So do I!" Jack said, his face filled with an almost childlike glee. Elizabeth turned her head to look at Jack.

"I noticed." She said, in the same dull, weary tone. Jack looked put-out for a moment, drumming his fingers against Elizabeth's waist, who surprisingly didn't mention it.

"Let's play a game!" Jack suggested, standing up, knocking Elizabeth to the floor. Elizabeth glared up at him.

"I'm going to bed." She said, standing up and brushing herself off. Jack pouted.

"Why?" He asked, a slightly whiney tone to his voice.

"Because I am tired and…" Elizabeth grasped for another reason. "and because I want to." Jack went to argue but then suddenly grinned and stood up.

"Lead the way!" He said, trying to bow while doing some kind of twisty arm movement.

"Beg pardon?"

"Bed. Ladies first."

"You've mistaken me Mr. Sparrow…"

"Captain. _Captain _Sparrow." Jack muttered sullenly.

"…**I** shall be going to bed…**alone**." Elizabeth continued as if there had never been an interruption.

"Buts that's borin'!" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Yer not denyin' it?" Jack smirked., Elizabeth closed her eyes…though the reason for her closing her eyes could be interpreted in many ways.

"No, Jack. You're right. I'm not denying it. I'm sure it would not be boring. Disgusting, immoral, inappropriate and degrading maybe. But boring? No."

"Aww, luv." Jack attempted to put an arm around Elizabeth's shoulders but she managed to sidestep the 'attack'. "Me and ye goin' to bed with each other wouldn't be degradin'…I've been with worse." Jack chuckled when Elizabeth half-heartedly slapped him round the face.

"Leave." She demanded. "I want to go to bed." Jack shrugged.

"I'm not stoppin' ye."

"I can't…" Elizabeth sighed, realising defeat. "Fine! Just…turn around." Surprisingly, Jack obliged with out argument. So he did take longer than needed to turn completely.

"Thank you." Elizabeth said, quietly, once she was changed and under the covers.

"I peeked." Jack confessed, though Elizabeth didn't entirely believe him. She'd been watching him very carefully the whole time.

"Of course." She said simply. Jack sat down on the bed next to her. "Yes?" Jack ignored her and begin to hum 'A Pirates Life For Me'. Elizabeth closed her eyes but quickly opened them when a loud 'thud' sounded in the cabin. She sat up and saw Jack struggling to pick himself up from off the floor.

"I fell." He said, sounding slightly surprised.

"You're drunk, Jack." Jack stood up and sat in the chair.

"Ye know wha', 'Lizbeth?" He slurred. "I think ye might be right."

A few hours later Elizabeth woke up to a soft snoring noise. Rubbing her eyes she saw Jack, sprawled out in the armchair, fast asleep. Elizabeth smiled slightly and got out of bed, walking over to the Captain. Trying not to wake him she took an almost empty bottle out of his hand (one he had, no doubt, opened once he'd discovered his companion was asleep) and wrapped one of the spare blankets around him. She then removed his hat and looked at him. He looked so innocent and…human when he was asleep. When he was awake he was always full of energy, always had something to say or something to do or somewhere to be. Seeing him, mouth open slightly, kohl-rimmed eyes shut was a great contrast. Gently Elizabeth pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before going back to bed.

"You really are something, Captain Jack Sparrow." She whispered, before closing her eyes.

"…so are ye, Elizabeth Swann." Said Jack softly, opening his eyes to look at the slumbering woman. "So are ye."

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**A/N. So that's it. Pretty short I know. Cookies and marshmallow men to reviewers! **


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